jumblysorts

You’re at a committee meeting and you’re refreshing the Guardian Football Live Report every 3 minutes for updates on the second half.

Don’t follow my example kiddies.

First half was a blast.  Both sides were being prissy, there was drama especially with Heinze (and Torres, he was being a beezee), the referees were being jerkfaces again (Stevie G didn’t deserve that penalty), Anfield was up in a rile, and I thought Liverpool was going to pull a 2005 CL Final Milan scoring so early.  Casillas, you deserve Man of the Match and if I could, I would hug you.  Mascherano, stop sticking out your feet, you think we can’t see that?  What a retard.

I take this game as a sign that we will lose very sorely to ManU.  That’s what happens when all of a sudden, you play the way you haven’t played for a very long time: brilliantly.  No joke Liverpool, you guys often stink of rotten tomatoes.  That’s why I still love you.

“The commentator on ESPN just said that if Real come back in this match it will be ‘the resurrection of the century’,” reports James Wells. “Of the century? What 19th century resurrection am I missing would prevent this from being the resurrection of the last, say, 1977 years?”

Timecode breaks suck.

Losing an hour of sleep involuntarily because of how the galaxy works sucks.

Having a pimple as large as a volkswagon on your chin sucks.

Needing to fix jury duty mishaps sucks.

Commenting on some model wannabe nerd!boy’s blog via Bravo is just plain stupid.